Thursday, March 22, 2012
Friday, February 11, 2011
Generosity is something that needs to be nurtured in your children from a young age. It is a state of being.
Generous people are able to give of their time and talents and find joy in it. The worst thing is a person who gives only out of manipulation. Something this is because the are intentionally trying to get something from you and in some cases it is a learned behaviour to get love or affirmations.
True generosity comes from a soul that is at peace with itself. A person who likes themselves and has a love for others will find it easier to give. Start by being generous in your compliments to your children and spouses. We have a “Three Things” ritual in our home.
We start by stating what we are grateful for. Then we say three things about each member of our immediate family that we like and we also end off by saying three things that we like about ourselves. It is a gift that we give to each othere. It starts the day off on a positive note and allows people to feel appreciated.
People who are grateful usually are happier and are able to be generous in other areas of their lives.
Learn more about the people that are in your life. What their likes and dislikes are and what their strengths and needs. That will help you to appreciate who they really are and also helps when buying gifts for them.
Having said that, may you have an enjoyable February. It is the month of Valentine's Day,love, gifts and generosity so spread it.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
As Father's Day approaches, get our your calculator and count up all the hours that fathers spend a way from their childlen becuase of work commitments.
Father's are those quiet bearers of burden. They work the long hours toiling for thier families. It is traditional to make father's feel special. But for Father's day, why don't we as corporates bless the dads in our companies as well.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Your key staff make a huge difference in your corporate life. I have noticed that some of my staff usually take a lot of emotional strain when finances are tough - don't we all? Finances are a huge concern and the worry that it causes can wreck havoc on your personal life and well being.
The beginning of the year is meant to be a time that we are refreshed or energised, but for some there hangs in the air the worry of over spending at Christmas and how to survive January which can for some be the longest month of the year.
A system that I sometimes use is to give a very small percentage advance at the end of the first week of January to certain staff members. The difference in attitude is huge. This in no way removes personal responsibility for budgeting, but seeing real needs and addressing them is part of the art of giving.
For larger companies, why not consider issuing out shopping vouchers for a few hundered rand to your staff at the beginning of the year as a "welcome back" present. You would be surpised at how many people suffer from depression at the beginning of the year becuase of financial worries. Those worries really affect your company's productivity.
So for the welfare of your company and for the love of humanity, do something that makes a difference. Show some heart and your soul will also benefit.
Friday, September 4, 2009
In Gary Chapman’s book, “The Five Love Languages”, he outlines the way that people whether friends, spouses or children express love and appreciate love. It outlines that like when people speak different languages such as Afrikaans, English, French, German, Zulu etc, we could all be saying the same thing, but no one would be able to understand us because we speak a different language.
In love there are five major love languages;
1. Words of affirmation
2. Quality time
3. Receiving gifts
4. Acts of service
5. Physical touch
Gift giving is a fundamental expression of love and appreciation that transcends cultural barriers. A gift is something that you can hold in your hand and say “the person that gave me this was thinking of me”. This is where the concept of the “It’s the thought that counts” comes from. There was an underlying emotion or thought that prompted the person to give you this gift. Sometimes my daughter will pick a flower from the garden and bring it to me. I am always thrilled because I know that at the time she saw the flower her heart sang out “mommy”.
Gifts are visual symbols of love. Corporate gifts and year end gifts are a symbol of appreciation. Sometimes visual symbols of love are more important to some than to others. For example when I have met quote a few men whom although were married did not wear a wedding ring. This greatly saddens me. Usually they say it is because they do not like to wear jewelry. Yet a wedding ring is not just a piece of jewelry it is a symbol of commitment and by choosing not to wear it, they are choosing not to openly display their commitment to their spouse.
If your friend or spouse or child has gifts as their primary language and it is not yours, then you can bet that they will be feeling a void in their view of how much you love them. Gifts do not have to be expensive, but do require that you may have to change your attitude towards money. Some of us feel good about spending money. Others prefer to save and invest. If you are a spender then spending money of a beautiful gift will not affect you much. But if you are a saver you will experience some emotional resistance to the idea of spending money as an expression of love. If you do not purchase things for yourself, then why should you spend on others? But that attitude fails to recognize that you are purchasing things for yourself. By saving and investing money you are purchasing self worth and emotional security. You are caring for your own emotional needs in the way that you handle money. What you are not doing is meeting the emotional needs of your friend or spouse or child. This is not to say that you must not save. Keep saving, but know that buying a gift every now and then for someone that you care about is the best investment that you can make in the relationship.
Start by making a list of all the things that your friend, spouse or child has expressed excitement about receiving through the years. They may be gifts that you have given or gifts given by another family member. This list will give you an idea of what would enjoy receiving.
If you have difficulty about selecting the gifts, then get a family member, friend or colleague who knows them well to assist in compiling a list.
Don’t wait for a special occasion, if receiving gifts is that person’s primary love language, almost anything will be seen as an expression of love. If that person has been critical in the past about gifts that they have received in the past then it is almost certainly not their primary love language.
To find out more about the concept of love language, read any one of the Five Love Languages books by Gary Chapman.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
I am busy gearing up for my daughter’s birthday party this Saturday.
Having a child make you look at giving from a whole new light. What I have noticed is that in some cases parents can get caught up in the comparative party syndrome where what the last parent catered for, did or did not do seems to take preference over where her the child enjoyed themselves of not.
I suppose it is because we are trapped in the corporate world and there is no greater bush telegraph that school moms. You get to find out all the juicy gossip at a school. Hence we can get trapped by what will get said about us.
The best birthday party that I went to was where the mom respectfully put out platters for hungry moms and dads, but busied herself with the real spirit of giving at a party and that is making sure the little ones leave having the greatest time.
This year I decided to have a private party for a few select friends of my daughter. She was allowed to invite ten friends. The rule was: “only invite children that you play with and who are nice to you”.
We are off to have a fun filled morning of tenpin bowling and as we are in a public place I have ordered bright t-shirts with her party logo on them so that we can see our group a mile off. It is a great way to ensure the safety of your little ones.
The day is not about catching up on school gossip, but rather to make sure that each child has a great time, lots of laughs and lots of stories to tell at show and tell about their great new hobby.
Whenever you plan a party of a gift, remember who is the most important on the day and what your objective is. Then plan your giving around that.